Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Things I've Learned About Marriage Over The Last 22 Years

Yes, I've been married 22 years, not all of the years have been happy, but not all have been hard and bad either.  I just want to pass along some things that I've learned over the 22 years that I have been married, because I thought that others would benefilt from it.  Ive not really ever shared these before, but here goes.

Well, one thing that I learned, is you can't build your marriage on a feeling.  Love isn't just a feeling, but it's an action word, and both partners need to show love toward one another.  It's not always easy, especially when the feeling isn't there, but in a marriage, the feeling isn't always going to be there.  Don't ever go on feelings, because feelings change.  If you build your marriage on this "feeling" of love then it definitely wont last.  To love, you need to be unselfish, and think about the other persons wants and needs over your own.

Another thing I learned is that communication plays a vital role in any relationship, but most importantly in a marriage.  When communication breaks down, for what ever reason, then there are problems.  I can attest to that. Communicate in a loving manner what is bothering you, and also communicate what is good.  No one wants to hear negative things all the time.  They need to be built up also.  

Constant criticism will break the other persons spirit.  It will bring them down.  It will kill them emotionally.  When all someone hears from the other person is negative, then they begin to believe it.  When a person starts to believe the negative, they stop functioning as they normally would, and start acting the way they have begun to believe. Encourage your spouse, and speak positively, and lovingly.  Support them, and they will blossom.

Having a budget that both of you agree to, and sticking to the budget is important.  Financial problems are hard to deal with.  No one wants to be financially unstable.  Borrow as little as possible, and save what you can.

Spending time with each other doing something you both enjoy doing is a must.  Each of you need to carve out some time to spend together, and don't let anything, or anyone mess with that time.  It's for you two to discover each other, and learn more about each other.  Both parties must be committed to this.  

The one I consider most important, putting God at the center of your marriage.  Pray together, and read the Bible together.  Pray for each other.  Encourage each other.

One thing that I realize that I didn't when I was just starting out is, that marriage isn't easy.  It takes work from both partners.  It's not something a person can be lazy at, and expect it all to work out good.  One can't expect the other person to do all the changing, and all of the work.

Forgiveness is one of the main ingredients in any relationship, but more so in a marriage.  Yes, the other person is going to do things that hurt you, but if you can't forgive, then what you have is anger, and bitterness instead of love.  You not only hurt the other person by carrying those feelings around, but you hurt yourself.  Learn to forgive, and move forward in your marriage.  The more you forgive the closer you are, and the better, and happier you are.

These are just some of the things I've learned from my own journey, and I would like to share them with all of you.  May God bless you all.  My love to everyone

One Bible scripture I would like to share with you all would be. 
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Change

This is a year of change in our family.  I am so excited about all of the things that are happening.  My son Michael turned 18 in April, and in a few short days he will be graduating from High School.  This in and of it self is such an accomplishment.  School was not his best subject.  If you get my drift here.  I always had troubles getting him to do his school work.  If it was homework, he would do it at home, no problem, be he wouldn't bring school work home and finish it if he didn't finish it at school.  I'm still trying to teach him to be a self starter at tasks, and things that need to be done, other than playing video games on the computer.

I'm looking forward to Michael finding a job, and getting started on his adult life.  I want him to have a good start, and to be respected by others.  He just took his last and only final today, and he has the rest of his life ahead of him to be the man of God that I know that God is making him to be.  I'm looking forward to seeing where he is in 5 years, maybe even 10.

My oldest son is moved out, and is starting out on a life independent of mom and dad.  He will be moving into his first apartment with his fiance in a few short weeks.  I about a year from now he will be walking down the isle to get married.  It's hard to believe that the son I used to hold in my arms, and rock to sleep every night will be getting married.

I am so proud of him, and what he has accomplished.  He has a wonderful job working at Alaska USA Credit Union.  He is learning the ins and outs of banking, and how to do what a teller at this credit union does.  He still has a lot to learn but has come a long way.  I am so looking forward to seeing what he and his soon to be wife's life will look like in 5 years, maybe even 10.

God has been so good to me and my family.  I am so proud of my boys, and what the Lord has done in their lives, and I am so looking forward to seeing what he will do in the future.  I pray that he will continue to work in each of their lives, and that they will both be open to His leading.  I pray that God will bless both of my sons, and that he would make them men of God, and men after God's own heart, like David was.

Thank you Lord!!!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

World Peace?!


When we pray for World Peace, do we know what we are praying for really?  There may be those who disagree with me, but the way I understand the Bible, we will not see World Peace, as long as Satan is able to peruse the earth seeking whom he may devour. He is pure evil, and the author of all that can bring about discord, and strife, and where you have these there is no peace. 
There will be a Fake, and orchestrated peace for 7 years during the reign of the Anti-Christ, but True Peace comes from God, and that can be seen in every Christian who hasn't let Satan rob them of it.  True Peace is the calm tranquil feeling inside when all around you is a raging storm.  The way I see it, We will never see True World Peace on this Earth until Satan is thrown into the Lake of Fire in the end.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Hardest Part of Motherhood: Letting Go, And Letting Them Fly


Being a mother has been one of the brightest spots of my life.  There have been many hard parts to mothering two boys, one with ADHD, and the other on the autism spectrum, but over the years, those hard spots have brought about joy, because both they and I have learned so much.  

My boys are now 19 and 17.  My 17 year old will be 18 in just a few short months.  My 19 year old will be 20 on August.  Where has all of the time gone.  It seems like just yesterday I was holding them in my arms.  I think that the hardest thing for me as a mother has been letting go... My oldest is grown now, and I hardly ever see him.  My youngest is still quite dependent on me, and I wonder if he will ever be ready to fly on his own.  When the time comes, I know it will be even harder to let go of him.

I miss having my oldest son around, but I knew this time would come.  Why does it have to be so hard?  God knows my heart, and he will hold me tight, and help me through this transition.  It's time to let him fly... I know that God will help me let both of my son's fly when it's the right time.  They grow up so fast.  Did I do this mothering thing right...?  I hope so.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I Learned: God Showed Me

First, I learned that I don't need lots of "friends" to feel accepted in life.  My acceptance comes from God.  My identity is in God, and He is all I need to feel like I'm accepted, and that I matter, and that I'm loved.  From there, I'm able to Love others the way God intended me to love them.  If I let God's love get poured into me, and I let it flow through me to those around me then I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.  Second, I learned where my loyalties should lie.  First they start with the Lord, and my relationship with Him, then it goes out to my family and my real friends, who have become like family to me.  If I am doing it any other way, then I'm not living in accordance with the word.

I never realized how much God loved me until recently, and let me tell you, the feeling of actually accepting the fact that I am so dearly loved by my heavenly Father is so Freeing.  God has been so good to me, and has done so much for me, and I didn't even realize how much He loved me, and how much more He wanted for me.  Now that I do, I will start doing things a little differently.  That, and the fact that there was someone I need to make a clean break from that was not a good influence on me, is why I've deleted my facebook page with an excess of 400 people on it.  

I'm going to start by putting God first in my life, and I'm going to let Him pour His love into me, so that I can start loving those around me in the proper way.  I Praise God for teaching me this, and for showing me who my true friends are, and for showing me that I need to learn to love my family and friends with His unconditional Love, and not just my human love.  

Thank you Lord, and I Praise Your Name Above any other name.  Amen!!!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Did You Know?!



Did you know that God Loves You?!  Yes, that's what I said.  God Loves You!!!  It doesn't matter what you've done, or who you've been, or what's happened to you in your life or where you've been, God Loves You.  He loved you so much that he sent his One and Only Son Jesus Christ to pay the price for all of those things in your life that you look at and say, "Look at what I've done, God wouldn't want me".  

The truth of the matter is that he Loves you and he wants you to put your hands up to Him and say, "I am Yours.  Take me and make me into the person you want me to be".  He's waiting for you to quit trying to work your way into heaven. There is no way that any of us, from the best, to the worst, can work our way to heaven.  We just can't do it.  God knew that we couldn't do it, but He had a plan, and that plan played itself out in the life of His son Jesus Christ.

The truth is, we in our own strength could never make ourselves good enough, but right now he is holding out his hand, and waiting for you to accept His free gift of eternal life.  What was that free gift?  The gift of the Cross.  Jesus went to the Cross and became the atonement for our sin, and wrong doings.  He paid the penalty.  What do we have to do to recieve this free gift?  Open our hearts up, and accept what he did for us, and let Him come into our lives and let Him change you from the inside out.  He will fill you so full of love that it will spill over and affect those around you.

It doesn't matter who you are, what you've done, or where you've been in life, God wants you to accept this free gift that He is offering.  He's waiting for you to say Yes to Him... He Loves You, and wants you to have this gift.  You don't have to make yourself perfect, or good enough first.  It can't be done.  Accept the Grace of God, and He will give it freely, because He Loves You! 

John 3:16-18
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Open Our Eyes To God's Way


We always talk about what God can do for us, and that's all well and good, but why not think and talk about what God can to through us if we just Open ourselves to him, and let him lead.  Many times we want to be in control, and do it our way, or do what We think should be done, without asking Him what should be done, or how he wants it done.

 Many times when things don't go the way we want it to go, we blame God, and say he didn't do his job, when in fact we were doing a job that wasn't ours to do in the first place.  Many times we get angry with God because he's not answering our prayers, but we have already envisioned the way in which God is supposed to answer our prayers, and he has a different vision as to how he's going to answer.  We get angry and impatient because we want to see things happen right away, when God is trying to do something even greater that we can't see.  

Let's open our eyes to what God is doing, and try to see the bigger picture.  Let's not have tunnel vision, and try to put God in a box.  When we do that, we limit God.  That box is too small for him, and he doesn't like being put in that box.

Just remember, there are times that what we want may not be the Best that God has for us.  What we want is mediocre compared to what God is doing, and what he has for us.  Let's learn to Trust in Him, and to not lean on our own understanding.  His ways are greater than our ways, and we may not always understand correctly what he's doing.  

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Just A Few Thoughts On Love: God's Style

I looked up the word love in the Bible dictionary, and after reading the rather lengthy definition, I realized that His love is so vast that I can't even begin to fathom it.  I am always amazed at what Jesus did for us at Calvary.  He went to the Cross out of love for us.  He didn't have to do it, but he did.  He made the largest sacrifice.  I sometimes wonder if I would do the same for him.  Then I remember that if I am operating in His love, then yes, I would be able to do the same.

We are to let God's love flow through us to those around us.  With His love we will be able to have an effect on a hurting and dying world.  If we are able to love with the Love of Christ we will not sit in judgement over the lost, but we will be reaching out to them.  When we try to do things with our imperfect human love we at some point come to a screeching halt, because it can't go where our Lord's perfect love can go.

God's perfect love casts out fear.  If we let his love cover us, and flow through us to those around us, then we will be able to overcome the fear that is within us.  His love also means that he can show mercy where we will, in our own imperfect love would not be able to do so.  With his love flowing through us, forgiving others will come easier than if we were working in our own imperfect love.

When I hear that song How High, How Deep, How Wide Is Your Love, I am reminded that his love is an everlasting love that will never end.  It's always there, and he loved me even before I was born.  He had a plan for my life before I was born.  He knew everything that would happen to me in this life, and he already knew everything about me, and he Loved me.  He loves me more than any person could ever love me, and I know that because he loves me, I can come to him with anything and he will never leave me, no matter what it is.  He loves me enough to let me know when I am grieving him, and he helps me to make any and all changes in my life that need to be made.

God is love, and he love you so much that he sent his son to die on the Cross to pay the penalty for any and all sins that you could ever commit.  If you are feeling like you could never be loved by God, or that maybe you've messed your life up so much that he would never accept you, then I want you to know that there is nothing that you could do that would make him not accept you.  He already loves you and wants you to come to him, and grab a hold of his love, and let him take over in the drivers seat of your life.  If you let Him take over you will have the biggest big brother ever, and he will always be there for you.

May God bless you...

Friday, December 2, 2011

Our Main Focus


I was watching something on TV today, it was a Christian show called, Praise The Lord, when something struck me.  I've been doing it wrong all along.  I've been doing things for others, but my focus in doing them was wrong.  Instead of doing things for others to get recognition from them, I should be doing everything I do as unto the Lord.  I shouldn't be looking for recognition from the people that I do things for, but I should be looking to God for everything.  When I do something for another person, I should do the best job that I can do, with my eyes toward heaven, and fixed on Jesus.  If I do things with a worldly point of view then I will be disappointed, because the world isn't always as thankful, and ready to be greatful for the things that I might do.

I also think that if we look at worship as a once a week thing that we do on Sunday morning, then we are going to be greatly limited in our walk with the Lord.  Worship should be an everyday, every minute thing.  We should go about our day and give our whole being, and day to the Lord as an act of worship every day.  Worship is not just about singing Praise to the Lord, but it's is all about an attitude.  It's all about having our being completely consumed by the Lord, and doing His will.  

I must say that I've been looking at this incorrectly for quite some time, and I need to make some changes in the way I see things, and how I do things.  I need a complete attitude change.  Not only do I need to do everything I do as unto the Lord, I need to do everything I do as an act of worship.  God is Good.  Thank you Lord for helping me to see this, and help me to make these changes.  Amen!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Forgiveness

Forgiveness--You've heard the term forgive and forget... I've always wondered how that could be done, but now I realize that forget doesn't mean that you should forget that it ever happened, it's more of a thing where you leave the pain, anger, and what ever other bad feelings you might have behind and go forward.  If we try to wipe something from our memory like God does, we will be frustrated, because that's not possible.  We can, however, put it behind us, and it can be used in a positive way to help others who might be going through the same thing.  Forgiveness is something that we all must do in order to live a victorious life.  I remember having a long period of unforgiveness, which brought about bitterness, anger, resentment, and finally depression.  Only when I started forgiving did I start finding my way out of the dark hole I found myself in.


Matthew 18:22
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.


Matthew 18:35
So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.


So God doesn't like it when we are unforgiving.  There is a condition of forgiveness.  If we don't forgive then He doesn't forgive.


Reading for Reflection....


Never tire of forgiving, and so give the devil no hold.  Be merciful and compassionate, spontaneously and whole heartedly.  The Lord forgives you all day long;  in the silence of your heart, then, do the same, untiringly and sincerely.  ~From The Jerusalem Community Rule of Life by Pierre-Marie Delfieny.

We are not compassionate, forgiving people simply by reason of our birth.  We learn to forgive as we learn to love, beginning with early role models, continuing through life experiences and with reflection on the ways in which we respond.  Compassion is not a gift.  It is an attractive quality that we may wish to choose for our lives.  Like courage, it is born of a series of choices we make to forgive or not forgive, to love or not to love.  Courage, along with love and forgiveness, shows itself in adversity.  ~From Growing Strong at Broken Places by Paula Ripple.

My thoughts--Forgiveness is an interesting thing.  Without it there is no healing.  The way I see it healing starts with forgiveness and a willingness to put the hurt and pain behind us, and move forward.  Once we've been able to do so, then we are much better prepared to help other through to a place of healing.  Jesus forgave all the way to the point of death and beyond.  Because of that, I should be able to forgive others.